damaged goods

2009 update

2009-04-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, first the bad news. I have been in pain for like nearly 2 months. Doc believes it's a pulled tendon and not broken bone as I can step down n walk, but it's really sore around the knee and hip, which is better than through the whole thigh like it was when it started.

Been working a lot from home, although I came into the office today.

The sucky thing is I have not been social (aside from visits from the bf) or been out to readings, movies, parties etc.

Jaime C. did pop in for a visit initially, showing off his new toy by a artist homeboy he knew I'd drool over.

Been netflixin like mad. Been watching the Three Stooges. The 3S jones came outta nowhere, then my mom reminded me that my grandpa had died the week I started jonesin. I'm named after him and when I'd stay the weekend with mis abuelos, he & I would watch the Stooges & Popeye. Other cartoons were cochinadas to him.

Lessee what are other things to tell to keep you up to date? Saw the Labelle reunion tour at the Oakland Paramount. Went with Sam & Jaime, we were right near the stage. It's always a religious experience to me when I hear big voices. Patti was bratty, Sarah was a Lady, and Nona was CRAZY!

Actually saw old ACT UP friends at a party earlier in the year. It was great to see them and hear what they're up to today!

Haven't watched baseball too much this season.

The other thing I been doin is reading Golden Age DC Comics. So far been reading Adventure Comics, Detective Comics & Flash Comics. Most the art is stank except for a few who have great style: Bob Kane, Bernard Bailey & Sheldon Moldoff. I've been diggin the Slam Bradley, Hourman, Sandman & Hawkman strips.

well, that's it for now!

Yes, I was a pussy

2008-12-01T16:21:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying upon arriving San Jose airport to yesterday, I been a pussy. (I know, I know, a sexist term, etc.) But I was flipped out about going to Mexico with the very little Spanish i know. On Day one, i spooked easy, plus I only had the $200 pesos Juve loaned me.

The first ATM I went to didn´t have letters on the keys, only numbers. And since I know my code by letters, I freaked out. Plus a line started forming, so I went back to the hotel tail between my legs. I ended up surfing the net, watching TV and napping a lot.

This morning I was more assertive. After watching Obama´s press conference on CNN, I went to the Business center of the hotel and looked up things to do via Trip Advisor and Google. I went to the front desk and used my bestest Spanish to ask how much it would cost to go to El Centro via Taxi. The lady behind the desk answered, $70 pesos. I said I only had dos cientos, and would the cabbie have cambio. She answered yes.

The cabbie got me to the Palacio de Gobierno but he didn't have change. He parked and went to a cab in front of him to get some. I tipped him, which left me with $100 pesos.

The Palacio was amazing. I did take pics, which I'll post when I get home next week. It sees like Guda digs the goddess Minerva. The one "setback" was that stairs and a trick knee don't mix. I climbed to Level 2, which would be Level 1 as in Mexico, Level 1/the ground floor is known as PB. I'll hafta ask Juve what it stands for again. I didn't go the extra steps to the Congress Room , so i missed another Orozco mural.

Upon leaving I asked a security guard for directions to a bank because I needed to exchange dinero americano a pesos. She pointed me to Banamex.

At Banamex, I told the "hostess" what I needed. She asked if i had any identification. I replied "¿pasaporte?, she sed Si! Then she gave me a number: 524. They were at 460-something. I waited my turn, it wasn't too long a wait. The exchange itself was quick. Then I told the teller (cajero?): "¿puedo usar my tarjeta en las maquinas? (holding up my Wells Fargo card) Es de banco americano Wells Fargo." He replied si. Thankfully, the Banamex ATMs had letras y numeros.

I then walked around looking for Californias, the bear bar. Unfortunately I took a wrong turn at Calle 8 de Julio. i saw a bunch of little markets, school kids, mechanics, and a place called Queer Nation, but it didn´t open until 5pm. After walking quite a few blocks, i rechecked my map and saw I went the wrong way. i retraced my steps.

i found the street the bar was supposed to be on. but being pooped and not having had coffee or breakfast, save a bit of cookie that Juve brought, I popped into Cafe D´val for a coca en botella, cafe americano fuerte y fajitas de res con tocino. So far tummy doing good.

After that I found Californias on the corner, but it too was closed being too early.

I did some more walking and found a plaza with an old library. Beautiful old doors, and pieces of the ediface on the ground. (Took some pics here)

I walked around more, finding a calle that was filled with front door farmacias. I kept getting asked if I was looking for something. I shoulda sed Si, por arthritis!

By this point I started wearin out, so i hit a corner market and bought tres botellas de agua. I sat in a´park and drank one, but got hit up by a missionary collecting money. He grilled me for a bit. A girl walked by and he said something. I didn´t respond. No, te gustas mujeres, he asked. I didn´t answer, just laughed. Then he asked me again for $$. I said no, and got up and walked on.

I grabbed a cab closer to the Palacio. I told the cabbie I wanted the Hotel Victoria express, but he didn´t know where it was. He asked if i had it written down, so i pulled out my passport. He told me get in as cars started honkin behind him. He read the address in my passport, and away we went. He asked if the Victoria express was a store, I told him it was a hotel. He asked me my name and if I was from San Francisco, and what i was doing in Guadalajara. I told him i was visiting with a friend who was working here this week. He asked if i had family here. i told him, no I was just visiting, and that I had familia en la Cuiudad de Juarez. We got to the hotel pretty quick. He helped me out the cab and I gave him $100 pesos. He reached in his pocket for change, but I sed no cambio. He insisted, but I sed no no no necessito. He said "Gracias, Evaristo" and shook my hand.

Now my feets is killin me, more specifically my ankles. My mom had run an errand prior to me flyin out, so I pulled out the bottle of alleves, with the easy-open arthritis cap, she got me. Let me say, someone needs to tell that pharmaceutical company what "easy-open" meands to a person with arthritis. Holding down 2 tabs with one hand, while twisting the cap with the other IS NOT EASY OPEN!!!!! Needless to say, I made cracks in the bottle, but never got it open. Have to wait for Juve to come back.

first notes

2008-11-30T10:53:00.000-08:00

arrived in guadalajara yesterday. took a direct flight from san jose, ca. mexicana airlines seems very southwest except with assigned seats. juve n i looked to see if we could get seats together. at first the counterperson said no, but then as we boarded she called us over and said 3 people cancelled, so we got a row of seats to ourselves. best airline food i´¨ve ever had too: enchiladas. washed down with a coke and a coffee.

at the guadalajara airport, we got through customs. and juve just kept bookin so didn´t hit the atm or cambio place. [which was a mistake cuz our hotel has no atm, n when i finally hit one today saw the numbers didn´t have letters. I memorized the letters of my PIN not the numbers grrr] We grabbed a cab, and jue was not expecting to tip a guy who carried our bags to the cab. an unnecessary job, but oh well. turns out we´re not in downtown G [el Centro] but Chapalita.

We were both pretty zonked but grabbed dinner in the hotel. Boneless Buffulo Wings which were unbreaded and covered in a mole sauce. I had a burger, he had a steak.

After we just went back to our room, while he tried locating his co-workers to determine their agenda for the ALA conference.

Not much around our hotel, I walked around today.

I have 200 pesos Juve left me, tomorrow I´ll be more brave and grab a cab to el Centro. tonight I´ll figure out the numeric equivalent of my PIN and grab some cash.

The debate 2 quick thoughts

2008-10-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

just a few quick thoughts:

When McCain addressed the young black man, he said "You may have not of heard of Freddie Mac & Fannie Mae before today." Why would he assume that??? And would he have answered that way if the question came from a person of non-color?

My mom had a conniption fit when she heard McCain call Obama "that one." her mouth dropped and she just repeated "that's not right, that's disrespectful." It made me think of 2 things: "That Girl," although McCain didn't mean it in a positive light; and the scene from Trading Places where Dan Akroyd getting bailed out of jail bellows "That man tried to have sex with me!"

Sorry. No deep political thought here, just rambling before heading out to work.

oh yeah, moment that made me sing the chorus of Pat Benatar's "Out of Touch": a woman asks a question about being green and green initiatives. McCain then talks about nuclear energy?????!!!!! WTF Last I remembered nuclear power was the opposite of green.

Still undecided in D9

2008-09-18T15:59:00.001-07:00

So far the field has been narrowed down for me to David Campos and Eric Quezada, with a slight leaning towards Campos.

Eva Royale disqualified herself cuz of this. I stand by my comment: "Eva's coming forward in a big press conference with her posters plastered around her at her press conference had NOTHING to do with being an outstanding citizen pointing out injustice, it ONLY was a ploy to make her Supervisorial bid public. Eva is irrelevant for the future despite her past accomplishments. C'mon Dolores Huerta (whom she had with her) does NOT speak for modern day Latinos."

Mark Sanchez proved he doesn't fully get it and pulled a bitch move in my book. See here By effectively dismantling the incentive for JROTC, which despite queer folks opinion on the military, Sanchez really screwed over kids of color and at-risk youth by not offering any alternative program. (ironically,m the few folks I know who were in JROTC all eventually came out as kweer adults.)

Eric Storey just gives me bad vibes. I'm hippie that way.

San Diego 2008

2008-07-30T14:39:00.001-07:00

Scootin off to San Diego was a bit more hectic this year. First off, I left a couple fires at work that couldn't be resolved that night. secondly, at SFO a security guard detained me because I didn't look like my photo ID. My license photo was taken over 12 years ago. Not my fault DMV has just sent me a new license without having me take a new photo over those years.

After another security person verified I was me, I headed over to the SouthWest terminal. There were a lot of comic geeks gathering...one of them was fine as hell. rican? Anyhoo...the 6pm flight was packed...I had hoped to get on it instead of my 7pm flight. But glad I went on my originally scheduled flight as me and a business woman sat in back with no one between us.

As always, I slept through most of the flight. After landing, and getting off last, I headed to baggage claim. My bag was the third to pop out the chute, so I grabbed it and headed to the taxi area. There was no line and I was at the hotel in 10 minutes.

First thing I noticed, it was not as hot and humid as last year.

This year I booked a room at the San Diego Marriot Marina. Not cheap but convenient as it's connected to the convention center. While there I saw various comic industry professionals as well as Brian Poesehn and Patton Oswalt.

Unfortunately my friend Pete had to bail. he initially was gonna crash in the room on Thursday, but a bad traffic accident prevented him from getting to SD from the OC.

My friend Brian made it though. The pics peppered throughout are his. we grabbed a late dinner at one of the hotel restaurants; all the staff were in comic book t-shirts.

The next morning I actually worked a bit. Earnings season is busy for us, and we're currently understaffed with a team member on a LOA. After that we were off to get tacos at the taco stand Pete always takes me to in Hillcrest. We had to Yelp it to find it.

After eating we hit a record shop, and then Brian used his iPhone GPS to get us to seaWorld. The same iPhone would lead us to In-N_Out Burger later. We watched seals, penguins n puffins, a dog show aimed at kids.

By the end of the day I was wiped out.

On Sat I mainly walked the floor until my feets hated me. I bought the
new Prism Guide from Prism Comics and picked up a postcard for the upcoming hardcover Buck
Rogers collection.

I hit up 2 panels: the 50th anniversary of the Legion of Super-Heroes and Prism's Emerging LGBT Artists. For the Prism panel, I thought Zan was a better moderator than Patty Jeres, who facilitated a similar panel at Wonder-Con.

By day's end, I was too tired to attend the annual LGBT panel and the mixer after. Brian and I grabbed dinner at Roy's and back in our room I popped a Vicodin that put me at ease.

Sunday morning, Brian left and I ventured out to the convention center on my own. I bought the first 2 issues of shirtlifter, and was told that
Steve MacIsaac, the creator, was at the next booth and got them signed. I'm usually
not the star-struck kind, but damn he is fine! And friendly too!

i also got an autographed picture from Erin Grey from the Buck Rogers TV
series. She was real sweet and gracious. I just missed Katey Segal &
Lindsey Wagner.

Oh yeah and I already pre-registered for next year. That line was huge too. I'm already rarein to go!

I could have been performing tonight

2008-06-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

I was actually invited to be part of QueLaco's performance tonight at Galeria. i initially declined because I want my next public reading/performance to be new material. [of course, it doesn't help that I've not really written anything in quite awhile now.] But then i found out it was the same night as Robert Plant & Alison Krauss at the Greek Theater.

Now back in college I once skipped a final to go see Keith Richards solo tour. So true to form, I made my decision.

happy erick arguello night

2008-06-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to my 2nd Pride event. The first was a reading by Emanuel Xavier at the San Francisco Public Library.

But last night was very interesting to me. I've been to very few Aguilas events since I left the Board to start up Latin Hustle with Jaime Cortez and Al Lujan. last night was a celebration of Erick Arguello, AGUILAS/El Ambiente's Volunteer Coordinator, who was named a Community Grand Marshall for Pride. I only knew a handful of folks there [Jorge & Bf, Antonio, Erick, John], but the majority were new faces to me and a wide range of ages. Also heartening to see was the inclusion of women and transgendered folks. For me that is queer utopia, something I only found in the hey-day of the late Proyecto ContraSIDA por Vida.

I think the other thing that struck me was the drag show, which was more like gender-f--k show. the performers were in drag, wore dresses and make up, but they kept their facial hair. The older performer had an androgynous but masculine lean; the MC was comedic and scruffy, and her too large shoes added to the faulty glamor; the third performer looked like a non-tattooed Dave Navarro and I just found him hot stamping around in his Spanish stompin shoes and waving his collapsable fan.

I ended up winning a pair of tix to the frameline fest, but it was for today at 1pm and I'm a workin fella. I gave the tix to my mom since the movie included indigenous characters and she digs that.

ok back to work.

2 songs that popped in my head as i showered

2008-04-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

Was I dreaming of Hell?

2008-04-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

Had a weird dream of walking around some sort of subterranean city. Lots of stone edifices and arches. at times it seems like under a freeway offramp. I was looking for a new apartment, but not finding anything. I'm singing Morrissey's "Everyday is Like Sunday" out loud as no one else is around. I finally park it in an archway, and unpacked my magenta joop duffle back. I unzip the bag on a picnic table that suddenly appears. Meanwhile some guy comes up, and wants to crash too. It was one of ex roomie Cashman's friends I had a crush on way back when. For the life of me I can't remember his name even though we saw What's Love Got To Do With It together. He says he'll sleep on the ground. I tell him: "No shit, nigga. I ain't giving up the table." I hear my parents on the other side of the wall laugh when they hear me say that. Then I look down in my bag and metallic spiders are just crawling out of it. I start crushing them, stomping on them. "They're like nano-bots," I say. Me and Mark(?) run out and are now in an apartment with shag rug. I see bugs (beetles and roaches) running around. Mark has now been replaced with my sister and we both are stomping on bugs. Then I woke up.

Why do I think I dreamt of Hell? I was underground being tortured by bugs, but also my parents were together as a couple.

Barack Obama's speech on race

2008-03-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

"A More Perfect Union" Constitution Center,Philadelphia
"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."

Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.

The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.

Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution -- a Constitution that had at is very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.

And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part -- through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk -- to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign -- to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together -- unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction -- towards a better future for of children and our grandchildren.

This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.

I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners -- an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts -- that out of many, we are truly one.

Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.

This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.

On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely -- just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country -- a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems -- two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way.

But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth -- by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters.And in that single note -- hope! -- I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories -- of survival, and freedom, and hope -- became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn't need to feel shame about memories that all people might study and cherish -- and with which we could start to rebuild."

That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety -- the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions -- the good and the bad -- of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother -- a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America -- to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through -- a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.

Legalized discrimination -- where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments -- meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.

A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for oneâ€™s family, contributed to the erosion of black families -- a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods -- parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement -- all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it --those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations -- those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicians, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.

And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience -- as far as theyâ€™re concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze -- a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns -- this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naive as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy -- particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction -- a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people -- that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances -- for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs -- to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives -- by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American -- and yes, conservative -- notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country -- a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen -- is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope -- the audacity to hope -- for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination -- and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past -- are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds -- by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand -- that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle -- as we did in the OJ trial -- or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina -- or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation -- the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today -- a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.

There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.

Wondercon 2008

2008-02-23T17:45:00.000-08:00

Note: Image of Justin Hall courtesy of ArtBusiness.com

Not really much to say since things get posted online live these days. And i forgot my camera both days.

Friday

Ran into my friend Bill. Walked the floor looking for bootleg DVDs, specifically concerts, but none to be found. Bill bought up a Wonder Woman doll and some trade paperbacks. I just bought a red Wonder Woman shirt and the Wondercon shirt.

Sat in on the Darwyn Cooke panel and the DC Nation panel. Next to me was a guy who creeped me out; he had a freakish scary energy. But he's the one who coined "Goddamn Tiny Titans."

From Comic Book Resources:
"There was some laughter at a fan's comment that he would buy “every goddamn issue” of “Tiny Titans.” DiDio joked that “Goddamn Tiny Titans” was the original title of the series."

Saturday

Looked to see if new DVD vendors showed. Nada.

Ran into Bill again and walked with him as he snapped pics of people. My fave was a baby dressed as Yoda.

Went to the Prism Comics Booth and met Justin Hall. Bought his Glamazonia & Only in San Francisco "chapbooks," which he signed. Then went to the "Prism Comics Presents: Emerging LGBT Voices" panel. It was interesting and packed. Not too sure on Patty Jeres' moderating skills though. At the very end when it was opened to questions someone decided to start with an anecdotal tale of himself before getting to any form of question. I HATE THAT!!! Grrr. Then the next question was...now I know people say there are no stupid questions, but...this guy askes "What do you think of the Furry Community" or something along those lines. Dude, it's a comic convention not a self-validation panel. yeesh. Then my friend Bill closed it with a question that brought it back to the creators.

Went to the DC Universe panel. Bill noted that J. Michael Straczynski was in the front row talking to DC's Jann Jones. "I bet they're gonna announce a project here," Bill said to me. They didn't announce a specific project, but they did welcome him on board. Nothing really much to report that isn't posted on Newsarama or Comic Book Resources. Judd Winnick still irks me. And the room was freezing.

Back out on the floor, introduced myself to a fellow member of the GLA. We live in the same city and have been in same room for panels, but have never officially met.

I'm for Obama

2008-02-22T08:52:00.000-08:00

Those who know me know I hate politicians. I tried the whole Harvey Milk Club thing, but I never felt so uncomfortable. It was like sitting in with a den of cobras and assorted vipers. BTW Martha Knutsen I've not forgotten how you literally pushed me aside and stormed out the room when you lost the Milk presidency. Real classy!

After leaving the Club for good, I changed my registration from Democrat to Decline To State.

Ok all that aside, I hate Hillary & Bill Clinton right now. Yes yes things were better under Bill than Curious [Clueless/Cokehead] George. But blow job aside, weren't there other more serious improprieties too? Didn't someone get killed in the investigation of a scandal? I'm too lazy to google and confirm.

Obama has impressed me. His groundswell support has impressed me. I'm not saying I still don't see him as a politician, but this was the first election in awhile where I felt proud to choose him on the ballot. Unlike say John Kerry who made me ill, but I knew I had to hold my breath and just do it.

Obama represents a true America (or the one I imagine) to me: mixed-race, gives hope, dresses nice, speaks well.

So cut to last night's debate in Texas. Hillary needed to score a homerun to stay viable in the race, she didn't. Future politicians note: do not hire the advisors she has!

Billary tried to give smackdowns but Obama deflected them with a class Ms. Clinton doesn't currently posses. She needed to do something big, and she didn't. People are tired of her same ole same ole, when she tried personal attacks she was boo'd. Obama was smooth and held his own, Clinton did nothing to rise above; she plateued.

I know some have pointed out how Hilly pulled it together in the end. And it's ironic or smart that really what she did was crib her own hubby. Bill Clinton back in '92: "The hits that I took in this election are nothing compared to the hits the people of this state and this country have been taking for a long time." Hillary Clinton, last night: "You know, the hits Ive taken in life are nothing compared to what goes on every single day in the lives of people across our country." (Source) Ironic because it was one of her attack points on Obie; and smart because if the issue is truly dead, then he'd be smart to just leave that alone.

Other notes/thoughts:

The Clintons brought race into the campaign, they tried to point the finger at Obama, but hey its on video. Hillary said that while O likes to compare himself to Martin Luther King, Jr. it took Preseident LBJ to pass the Civil Rights Act." ouch, woman. That just shows how white you are, and how ill prepared your advisors were.

The Clintons went to Black and Latino "leaders" to show they were down, but they went to people who...well...are anachronistic or not well liked: the President of BET, who has many a Black activist angry at him for his dumbing doiwn of the channel to promote the same ole same ole stereotypes as well as abandoning Hollywood to avoid Union scale and setting up in Atlanta; Dolores Huerta & the son of Cesar Chavez, sorry, but those names were relevant back in the day, but most Latinos in the US/Cali are urban dwellers, and Dolores refusing to call Obama by his name [Como se llama?] is just shameful. It just all shows how badly the Clintons are out of touch. They might as well have made public apprearances wearing a rastafari hat and Frida Khalo tshirt. yeesh.

And to those Demos that say they'll vote McCain over Obama if Hillary doesn't win. No surprise. You just continue to prove there is no difference between the Demos & Repubs. The once staunch border between the two parties is now blurred and has been for quite some time.

Ok, now that that's off my chest, time to read comic books!

junk - random lyrics without music

2008-01-18T09:19:00.000-08:00

There was a blackout
I let him
suck my dick
but he read more
into it

Men are meat
was my motto
and let the feast
begin

======
won't pretend there was no trouble
up in our nest
you gone and left me
in a state
my friends call
a mess
I'm not some
condom to use
and throw away with no regret

my rage knows
no boundaries
when it comes to
protecting my
brittle heart
Mister, i got
the skill to kill
down to an art

===========

You order food
and send it back
someone like you
should cook
his own meals
why put the wait staff
through that

The Last Quarter 2007

2007-12-27T14:44:00.000-08:00

No longer in relationship. Ended in Oct.

Turned 40 on Oct 12. Was very non-monumental. But thanks to Ray & Albert & Ray's friend for sharing tapas with me.

Moped. The relationship not working and turning 40 definitely pushes one into Morrissey & Patsy Cline territory.

Let my mom move into my spare bedroom. very weird. But I always have dinner when I come home from work. Yummy.

Ran into Aja after YEARS! And she still is motherfuckin fabulous!!!

Saw Miss Tisa read from a thought-provoking book. I needed that as the most stimulation I've given the brain is Thor fighting Loki in Marvel comics.

Saw Van Halen in Sacramento and Oakland. same setlist, but very different shows. Highlights: Romeo Delight & Panama.

Saw Deborah Harry at the Fillmore. Also saw all the Deb heads I've met at local Blondie shows. The new stuff sounds so much better live than the studio versions.

My sister got me the James Bond DVD collection for Christmas. I love Bond movies and was a nice present to get since I stayed home because I worked on Christmas Eve and had to be at work at 8am day after Christmas, plus I was on call.

It's been a year for band reunions/reformations. Van Halen back with Diamond Dave. The Police. And down in Australia, Divinyls! (Thanks to Frank K for getting me copies of the new songs not released here in the States.)

And god bless youtube!

...

2007-10-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

don't go away thinkin'
i didn't get mad
i was just gracious
i still wish you bad
luck in your life
in your loves
it's a silent death sentence

Yep.

2007-10-14T18:29:00.001-07:00

not insulted this time

2007-06-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

grabbed a cab home after the queer latino art exhibit. as the cabbie dropped me off at home, i reached for my wallet. he cleared the meter and told me, you don't have to pay. I was like huh? He said "I can tell its hard for you, and I'm sure it's hard to make money." I realized he thought I was a poor feeb!!! I just said, "are you sure?" "Yes," he replied. Me: "Thank you. You are very generous."

Then I gave him a show by slowly getting out the cab, and overemphasizing my limp to the sidewalk and up the stairs.

Irritated, insulted & amused

2007-05-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to a First-time Homebuyer workshop. It was really educational and filled me with hope again after Wells Fargo damn near laughed in my face.

After the workshop, I was inspired by a recent posting from a friend and went to Popeye's on Mission st. I ate my jambalaya while watching 2 chunties talk about sex. The bulldog one was humping the air and moaning and also simulating pussy munchin with his hands. It was vulgar and amusing. As I got up to leave I noticed the bulldog motion his friend to me with his head "look at him" I continued walking, but they called me over. The Bulldog pulled out $3 from his wallet, folded it and held it out to me. I just looked at him, "por que?" He flicked "take it take it" with his wrist, while shooting a look to his friend who then pulled out his wallet and handed me $3. "dios bendiga" they sed.

Then I realized they felt sorry for the disabled one, and were offering charity. I was initially insulted, then equally amused thinking "I probably make more than 2 of you combined."

Anyhoo..I took the money then crossed the street and grabbed a cab home.

just a thought or lyric

2007-04-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

left by the wayside
funny how some
never progress

same conversation
every time
same situations
every time

I don't really care
what they do
in the clubs
I don't really need
to drink until
the room spins
again

Those were fun times
Those were fun times
Those times are gone
I've moved on

laundry outsourcing

2007-03-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

I started doing laundry last Saturday. I've been spoiled. At the old apartment James and I had our own washer/dryer; so it wasn't uncommon for us to start a load one day, finish it the next day, and then pick our clothes out the dryer through the week. After a few years of being married by rent control, we even mixed our piles of clothes together and did them all together.

But here in the new place, Everett and I share one washer/dryer with 2 other units. And it's coin-operated. So that along with the fact I hate to do laundry, I got a bug up my azz and looked online for any Wash/Fold services in my neighborhood. Through that I wondered "hey, I get groceries and Chinese food delivered. I wonder if there's a laundry service like that?" Lo and behold, I discovered a handful of places. I read reviews on unaffiliated websites like Yelp!, etc and picked Alabaster Cleaners because the reviews were great and they had after-work hours.

Monday morning I put in an order for a pick up that night, and delivery the next day. I separated my laundry by wash & fold and a few items as Wash & Press. For Wash & Press I had my button up shirts -- I even threw in a few non-dirty but wrinkled-as-hell ones-- and 2 sheet sets. Getting the ironed sheet sets back was nice, but expensive. i'll do them as regular Wash & fold next time and see how they come out.

Yes, I watch Idol!

2007-03-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, watching Melinda Doolittle each week on American Idol is like watching that scene in Whats Love Got to Do With It where Anna Mae Bullock becomes Tina after Ike Turner first hands her the mic!!

bone scan

2006-11-17T15:17:00.000-08:00

Made it to the clinic at 8:30 am to get a bone scan, and no one was in the room I was supposed to go in. The door was locked and lights out. I parked it in a chair and text-messaged my frustration to friends.

Just before 9 the tech came. She apologized and had me sit down while she prepped the radioactive solution they were going to inject.

the tech was a total sf athletic lezzie and i could imagine her enjoying volleyball and tennis and jogging.

"this is the hard part," she said before she put the needle in my vein.

"no," i replied, "the hard part will be taking the tape off my arm"

this made her giggle a bit.

I came back later in the day for the actual scan. i basically lied down on a platform and two screen things scanned my body from toe to head. it took about 30 minutes to complete, i was asleep after 2 minutes. i hope i didn't snore.

after it was done, i asked the tech if i could see the pics since i never saw one before. seeing my skeleton was trippy. the sad part was the shadow of a homer simpson body around it.

the tech sed "i'm not a dr so i'm not giving any advice but just by looking at this i see hot spots here n here n here"

And damn if they were the exact spots where i been hurtin! things the scan showed that an xray couldn't!

anyhoo, i see the sexy bear cub chilean dr the monday after thanksgiving for follow up.

the end of the year is near

2006-11-11T17:41:00.000-08:00

where to start?

october started out ok, turned 39 on the 12th. but then a week later, i started getting a weird pain in my hip that made it unbearable to walk. my initial thought was that i got a hairline fracture, which happens with me due to the hip replacement. but i spent a weekend in agony before getting in to see a doctor on monday afternoon. the doc gave me anti-inflamatories n had me take xrays. he alo gave me a referral to an orthopedist. this couldn't be happening at a worse time as at work we were entering our busy season and i need to be looking for an apt.

that wed i got in to see not an orthopedist, but a pain management/anesthesiologist. he sed my xrays showed no signes of breakage. he prescribed me a pain killer that would not make me loopy per my request. i still went in to work, but i was taking cabs to and from, which was not cheap. a week later, i was feeling significantly less pain. the doc sed that i definitely did not have bone damage otherwise my pain would not have subsided.

another week later and significantly less pain again. i even used BART to get to work. its not 100% better, but it is not excruciating.

in other news, i have to be cleared out of my apt by jan 31. i also got in touch with a mortgage officer to explore my viability in getting pre-approved for a home loan. she sent me an application, which i was hoping to get today, but i forgot its veteran's day.

tomorrow, i'm gonna try n have lunch with a friend, who lives in the area where i'm going to be looking at apartments tomorrow.

what makes work bearable

2006-10-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

Ok i have a hungry man dinner in the freezer here at work. My str8 coworker asked if it was mine. I sed yeah it is. And he sez "i think you were in the wrong aisle." He pulls out my frozen dinner and he had put a post-it over the word "man" so it the box said "Hungrywoman."

"Oh, you bitch!" I said laughing, "That's something I'd do to one of my friends"

He was laughing, and then I noticed he was drying his coffee cup he just washed with a paper towel. He had 3 fingers in it swirling and rubbing the coffee cup walls.

"Hey," I said to him, "You're making me uncomfortable with the way yer fingering yer coffee cup."

We both busted up.

oohhhh scary

2006-10-13T15:44:00.000-07:00

in the spirit of halloween, i've decided to post the scariest thing i've seen on television ever! (Alleged) Comedian Ant's eyebrows!

Does anybody remember...

2006-10-11T13:16:00.000-07:00

when Shakira wrote good songs and relied on them instead of her blonde hair and belly dancing????

interlude

2006-10-11T10:11:00.000-07:00

after watching pick up the mic, i want to start writing rhyming verse. anybody want to be my dj jazzy jeff or mixmaster mike?

Film I'm in Screening at DeYoung this Friday

2006-10-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't updated in forever. I promise after the housing crap, I'll let it all out.

In the meantime...

A film I'm in "Corn in the Front Yard" directed by Al Lujan is screening this Friday Oct 6th at 6:30 at the newly reopened de Young Museum in Golden Gate Park as part of their exhibit: Chicano Visions: American Painters on the Verge as Collected by Cheech Marin. It will be screened as part of the Resisting Humor film series in the Koret Auditorium and is cosponsored by the Mexican Museum. Live Music by Son Borikua and no host bar open. Question-and-answer session with some of the Directors follows the screening.

http://www.thinker.org/deyoung/visiting/subpage.asp?subpagekey=961

The de Young museum, a favorite of San Francisco residents and visitors since 1895, is located at 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive in the heart of San Francisco's Golden Gate Park.

October 6
In the Koret Auditorium
6:30 p.m.
Film Series #3: Resisting Humor
Co-presented by the Mexican Museum.

Columbus on Trial, Lourdes Portillo, 1992, 18 min.
In this political satire featuring the comedy trio Culture Clash, sharp dialogue, physical comedy, and state-of-the-art video techniques are used to dramatize a mock trial of Columbus in a present-day courtroom with a “Spanish-by-way-of-Mexico” judge presiding. Columbus on Trial hits on the complexities of Latino identity in America while slicing into the kitschy consumer icons and buzzwords that stand for racial and ethnic identity in contemporary society.

Corn in the Front Yard, Al Lujan, 2001, 11 min.
A male nurse attends to a woman who had major plastic surgery paid for by her gay son. Meanwhile, a hysterical Latino real-estate queen laments the loss of the neighborhood, as she herself becomes a mover and a shaker.

Why Cybraceros?, Alex Rivera, 1998, 5 min.
Rivera’s film is based on an actual promotional film produced in the late 1940s by the California Growers Council titled “Why Braceros?” Using footage from this old industrial film, it briefly lays out the history of the Bracero Program in the United States. The piece takes a sharp turn as the narrator advocates a futuristic Bracero Program in which only the labor is imported to the United States. The workers themselves are left at home in Mexico, as they telecommute to American farms over the high-speed Internet.

Ozzy Goes to the Alamo, Jim Mendiola and Ruben Ortiz Torres, 2001, 5 min.
Mendiola and Torres claim this film to be “the world’s first Chicano 3-D movie.”

Lupe & JuanDi from the Block, Fulana Collective, 2003, 5 min.
Inspired by la Virgen de Guadalupe, San Juan Diego, and Nuestra Señora de J-Lo, this music video was created to answer such burning questions as: What’s up with these designer Virgen de Guadalupe jeans?; How come el Indio Juan Diego became a white man for his saintly Vatican image?; Is the Pope concerned about losing the Latino market?; and, Are we fooled by the props G-Loop’s got? Is she, is she, Lupe from the Block?

Larry Landia, Karim Scarlata, 2005, 17 min.
This is a wry and visually compelling story of a young Mission resident Chicano, Larry, who fancies himself an eagle warrior as he grapples with love, the legacy of colonialism, the metaphysics of basketball, and the sacrifices one must make in life in order to make relationships work.

Question-and-Answer Session with Lourdes Portillo, Karim Scarlata, and Al Lujan, 20 min.

Reality Show Quips

2006-09-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, is it me or is Lukas Rossi(sp?) on "Rock Star: Supernova" an FTM?

The gays on Project Runway work my nerves beyond belief! Not a Nick, Daniel or even Santino in the bunch. Thank Gawd the lil muscle queen is gone. I hope Michael wins.

I refuse to watch Flavor of Love. Looking at Flav dame asco. He's the David Lee roth of rap! But damn right I looked at the dookie incident on youtube. HI-larious!

When does America's Next Top Model start?

new meds

2006-08-21T10:37:00.000-07:00

so last week i started a new arthritis med: remicade. it's done by infusion so i go into the dr's office, and get hooked up to an IV. Before they start hooking you up, they slip you a benadryl and tylenol to combat the side-effects. Apparently, people get hives at the injection site, so my Doc counteracts those with antihistamines. A nurse stays on duty and monitors blood pressure and temperature.

Anyhoo..it was just the first treatment and most mes take a month before you really notice the benefits.

long beach pt 2

2006-08-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

i had dinner with mario n mike on saturday in long beach. i know mike wanted to hit bear night at ripples, but i'm just so not into clubs and bars right now. we ended up having dinner n then chilling at a lesbian-owned cafe. just very low key.

and that was the whole weekend. matt said he felt guilty because he doesn't take me out when i visit. but i'm just not the touristy type, i like seeing how a real city functions, etc.

long beach vacation

2006-08-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

woke up thursday morn to the news of new terrorist alerts affecting air travel on thursday morn. Not the best news to hear on a travel day. thankfully I was only flying from Oakland to Long Beach. Left work early to get to Oakland airport way in advance for my 7pm flight. I checked in and que paso? Flight delayed 90 minutes. Apparently Oakland airport was plagued with probs that day from an early morning blackout, to delayed flights, to lines delayed by people still trying to bring in liquids n gels in their carryon, and the food vendors running out of food.

I had a non-dairy smoothy, but something musta been wrong cuz it upset my delicate nature and I was chorros city for a good 30 minutes. I guess I should be glad my flight was delayed.

Matt picked me up at the LB airport, and we went back to his place n chilled with his dogs and hubby Adam. Then we called it a night.

Friday, I just tagged along as Matt bought a camera. A $3000 camera! And he took pics of me later that night hee hee. I hate having my picture taken, but I get angry when the attempt is not made.

We also saw the new Robin Williams film, "the Night Listener;" it was pretty cool. I was glad it avoided cliches and didn't degenerate into another knockoff of "Play Misty For Me."

Friday night ended with us watching a boot copy of V for Vendetta. Looked great, but sound was low. Matt & Adam also inroduced me to the BBC's "Little Britain." Funny weird stuff.

Today has started off slow and I'm trying to coordinate with my friend Mario, who is in town from Houston visiting my friend Mike. They had gone off to Vagas and are back in town.

catching up

2006-08-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

So while in San Diego, I saw Kathy Griffin live with my friends Valentin & Bill. She had us dying. The crappy thing was that before the crowd from the first show let out (us), the staff started letting people in for the 2nd show, which caused lobby gridlock in humid weather. By the time we managed to squeeze out, I was driping wet with sweat.

One tragedy: Bill left his camera in a cab. =o(

On Sunday, my friend Pete, with who I attend comicCon, skipped Sunday and went to Hillcrest for coffee and then lunch. Afterwards, Pete ducked into RiteAid to use the lil boys room. While waiting for him I saw this old queen in a hideous not quite hawaiin floral print blouse come in. She asked a stock girl for help. The girl replied she didn't speak english. I was gonna step in and help, when Queen snapped "Why are you even working here!" He went on a mad dash in the aisles and again confronted stock girl: "They should fire you. you're useless HA HA." He walks away in disgust, then stops in front of me. Looks me up and down, and mutters: "They always come to California." At this point, I'm looking for a sharp object to embed in this disease bag's throat. But then Pete came out.

Later that night we had dinner with Pete's bf, and my friends Brian & Erika, and Erika's daughter. I had to remember to watch my language.

Back at home I saw Dave Chappelle again at the Punchline. The man is quick. Now I wish I had gone to the last Sunday night show as Mos def, Talib Kweli & De La Soul were in the audience.

Tomorrow I leave for Long Beach.

*A few folks have asked me why I don't mention work. Well, we have a no blogging policy. So all I'll say is I like my job and I aim to keep it.

San Diego Comic-Con: Black Panel

2006-07-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

This panel was just too short. It featured: Reggie Hudlin (president, BET), RZA (Wu Tang Clan), Jeffery Wright (CEO, Urban Ministries), Denys Cowan (senior VP, BET Animation), Mike Davis and Mark Davis (Blokhedz), John Dokes( Marvel Comics) and Dwayne McDuffie (JLU, Static Shock). Moderator: Michael Davis.

One of the sparks at the panel was when a woman had a few questions/observations and she was basically told, well we [the men] just got here so wait. An answer she didn't appreciate. She also went on to say that she created years ago and that she wasn't a young girl, thus stating her age. To which, a few on the panel basically gave commentary of damnnn you look good for your age. In the end, the woman walked away disgusted and threw out a comment that that's why she never watches BET. To which Reggie responded to something along the lines of "I don't want you watching my network anyways!" Two guys in front of me, looks like they were creators, were put off by this too and went and checked in withg the woman in solidarity.

Also, the moderator seemed to shut people down albeit some were ramblers. He just seemed moe antagonistic as oppossed to other moderators who steered questioners to asking their actual questions.

It was those 2 things that brought the Black Panel down for me.

On the plus side, the panel did encourage folks to keep on keepin on in terms of creating. And I think it was RZA who summed it up best to say "If you're creating for money, then you probably won't get there. But if you create from your heart and soul, and you're willing to sacrifice for your art, then someone will notice."

As a whole, it was an exciting panel with sparks and recharged my batteries for the day.

san diego day one

2006-07-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

got in last night on what seemed the only non-delayed flight on southwest. i got to oakland airport early in hopes of snaging an earlier flight, but it turned out those were all delayed as were flights to ontario and burbank. in fact one plane was ready to board, but then 5 minutes before letting people on the attendant anounced that the pilot had an issue and that the flight would be delayed an hour as that was the soonest an available pilot could get there!

got into the hotel about 9, grabbed wendy's--which my coworker forbade-and hit long's for supplies.

I was very lazy and didn't leave the hotel till noon. Like a tonto I walked to the convention center and thus wore out my ankles. I went right to the DC Booth, but it was crowded with people trying to get autographs. I parked it on this bench/stage thing that was in the booth. This cute girl came up and asked if i could make room for her. We both commented on how it was too early to be tired.

I texted my friend Bill that i was going to the PRISM comics booth. He met me there. I have to say this year, both times i hit the booth I didn't find the folks to be that friendly. My friend Valentin had the same experience I did, where the person behind the table was handing out stickers left and right but didn't offer us one. I had to ask to get my damn rainbow sticker.

Bill and I walked the floor briefly before catching the JSA/JLA panel where we met up with his bf Valentin. Like most the panels this year, I found them lacking in info. What info that was divulged were merely confirmations of internet rumors. Newsarama covered the event here. They didn't mention that Geoff Johns confirmed Obsidian is gay.

The other highlight of my day was seeing the opening of Richard Donner's version of Superman II.

Met up with my friend Pete and we grabbed a pedal cab back to the hotel. We both drooled over the friendly Polish cabbie.

Gnarls live!

2006-07-19T00:11:00.000-07:00

Gnarls Barkley kicked off their US tour at the Fillmore. The band came out dressed like fast food chefs and started an instrumental version of Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf". Then Cee-Lo and Dangermouse came out dressed like chefs. Cee-Lo carried a box of doughnuts and handed them out to people before tearing into the vocals. It was a fun, albeit short, show. They did songs off the CD plus a couple covers. They also twisted the arrangements of a few songs.

I found out I can get disabled/handicaped seating at the Fillmore, which is great because i have skipped shows there because its not as friendly as say the Warfield. Right before the band came on some kid stumbled by me and plopped down, he gave me this "what's up?" smile. Security came to tell him, it was reserved seating, and he keeled over n puked. It was more funny than gross. Thankfully the Fillmore staff was on it like that. I ended up at a table with sexy latin biker folks.

*Pics taken from SFGate.com. Photographer: Laura Morton.

queen overload

2006-07-13T16:44:00.000-07:00

my poor coworker. he begged me to not play queen for awhile. i played the queen studio discography 1973 - 1980 yesterday. all the albums in mp3 form on one disc.

Korean Missle Giggles

2006-07-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know some people have told me I'm not taking the Korean missle launches seriously enough. But how can I when the TV newscasters are pronouncing taepodong as Type O Dong!!!!

Do boys remember death walking?

2006-07-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

i remember then
when pale flesh walking
translucent cheek and jaw
rice paper thin surface

and there was no mystery
when people disappeared
just read weekly
obituary pages long
generations gone

these days they carry on
chemical bloated existence
fat free and not reviled
blue veins in full view
carrying toxic mixture

conversation

2006-06-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

preface: i'm out at work. co-worker has gay uncle. we use IM as a business tool at work.

Str8 Coworker: which IM is (another coworker who happens to be gay) on??
Me: why do u think i would know that?? we aren't ALL on some secret pink mafia IM, ni&&a
Str8 Coworker: hummmm....I thought you were
Me: oh wait yer right...n yer uncle sez hi
Str8 Coworker: lol
Str8 Coworker: good one

Ugh The building went on sale

2006-06-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well they officially put the building up for sale.

Listing on zip realty:

"Large flats in desirable area near dolores park. Legal storage and possible garages. Much potential. Great tic opportunity. Convert to condos!"

List Price: $1,695,000

I don't know where he gets the possible garages part from, there's nogarage in this place.

Just like real life...

2006-06-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

it ends before it should

Just a Thought

2006-06-06T18:34:00.000-07:00

All I want is your understanding
As in the small act of affection
Why is this my life
Is almost everybodys question
And Ive tried, everything but suicide
But its crossed my mind

I prefer peace
Wouldnt have to have one
Worldly possession
Essentially Im an animal
So what do I do with all the aggression?
Well Ive tried everything but suicide
But its crossed my mind

Life is a one way street ain't it
If you can paint it
If you could paint it
Ill draw myself going in the right direction
So I'll go I'll go all the way like I really really know
But truth is I'm only guessing
And Ive tried, everything but suicide
But its crossed my mind

Its even dark in the daytime
Its not just good its great depression
When I was lost I even found myself
Looking in the guns direction
And Ive tried, everything but suicide
But yes its crossed my mind
But Im fine

-- Gnarls Barkley

Ok...

2006-06-04T17:23:00.000-07:00

Well, i already mentioned why I didn't enjoy Madge to the fullest. But what I did find sooo cute was the woman with Down's Syndrome 2 seats away, who would giggle whenever Madonna cussed or when Madonna went down the catwalk, would jump up and wave while screaming "Hi Madonna!"

I'm really groovin off the Gnarls Barkley CD, which sounds like Let's Take It To the Stage-Tales of Kid Funkadelic era Funkadelic. I also love this pic of them as Cheech & Chong. i love the first single, but fave my song off the CD is "Just a Thought."

Still dwellin on the guy. Gawd I hate that. But just not over him and its all i can do to even leave the bed/house to get to work. Yesterday my sister & her fiance came over, they dragged me out the house for dinner in North Beach. Jaegers House of something. It was good food, and there was a blues band playing. This morning my sister took off on the AIDS bike ride thing. I donated $300.

i can't believe it...

2006-06-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

saw madonna last night. a multimedia extravaganza, with bad sound at times. but out of an arena full of people, who the hell comes in, walks by me, n then sits in a spot where i can see him?? yep, subject of the previous post. my heart fell into my stomach. damn him for looking so good.

Jumbled

2006-05-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

So last week he said he couldn't commit, which I found odd coming from the guy who said "you touch another dick and it's over." He still uses his family (whom he lives with) as an excuse: they hold him back from being open as opposed to he allows it to happen by continuing to live with them. He also said that not seeing each other often annoyed him, which is odd since he's the one that's cancelled or postponed many of our planned get-togethers. Part of me wanted to say what could I do to make it better for him. Then I realized there's nothing I can do.

Sometimes you just have to admit it isn't working and won't ever work if you both don't have the same goal, and its better to just go off to your separate corners.

Yuck, I have to dive back in to the dating pool. Maybe I'll just be one of those crazy cat ladies instead.

"they say time heals all wounds
but i'm still waiting"

-dixie chicks

Meanwhile, it looks like the owners of my building ae looking to sell it. This could mean nothing or everything for me. I've been in my unit since 1988! This is my home; it would suck if i have to move.

It's times like these that even work or baseball can't distract me.

X-men 3 opens this weekend, and it's the first big superhero movie opening in years I won't be seeing with my friend Carolina who lives in Brooklyn, NY. Boooo

Awww Just read that a comic artist legend, Alex Toth has passed away.

From Wikipedia: "Alex Toth (born June 25, 1928 in New York City, died May 27, 2006) was a professional cartoonist. He began his career in comic strips and comic books but is best known for his animation designs for Hanna-Barbera throughout the 1960s and 1970s. His work with Iwao Takamoto included Superfriends, Jonny Quest and Space Ghost. Toth's work has been resurrected in the late-night, adult-themed spinoffs on Cartoon Network: Space Ghost: Coast to Coast and Sealab 2021.

He received a good deal of recognition in the comics industry for his work. He was nominated for the Shazam Award for Best Individual Short Story (Dramatic) for "Burma Sky" in Our Fighting Forces #146 (with Archie Goodwin), and was also a finalist for induction in the Shazam Awards Hall of Fame that same year. He was an officially named finalist for induction into the Jack Kirby Hall of Fame in 1989, and was formally inducted in 1990."

Here's his sexy rendition of Black Canary.

feelin eh

2006-05-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

sometimes you have to admit its not working out and just walk away from it. even though its something you've wanted so badly and the affection has not died.

Dear Diary..........

2006-04-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

Leave a comment and I'll reply with the following:

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something that we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my BEST memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I need to know from you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.

Queer Latino Rally Coverage

2006-04-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

So Thursday is Fag Rag day, the day the 2 weekly gay newspapers come out in San Francisco. In my case, my cafe gets one on thurs & the other on Fri. So I see the Bay Area Reporter has a cover story on the Queer Latino anti-racism rally in the Castro, which burst into flames yesterday, and who do they have as the main picture with the story? Supervisor Tom Ammiano, with latinos in the background. Yes, they interviewed a few people at the Queer Latino/as Against Ignorance and Discrimination event,an "Evening of Protest and Education." And out of the 11 people quoted in the piece, 7 were Latino. But couldn't they have at least shown one of them??? Jeez. I'm just glad it wasn't a pic of Bevan Dufty, whom the BAR always focuses on, granted he is the Castro Supervisor.

The best thing about the article is that my friend Ray "Coco Lopez" Ferrer closes it out. She always has to headline!

no me gusta skinny bitches

2006-04-26T16:17:00.000-07:00

This won't make me popular with the PC set, but I call it as I see it.

Elsand: any skinny bitch here [San Francisco] who's over 35, i look at as a disease bag
Elsand: if yer skinny n fat free at that age, its SIDA eatin yer body fat, not jenny craig
Friend: So damn true.
Elsand: [A good friend] is a skinny lil thing...he told me bout the effects of AIDS
Elsand: but when he takes a pic, his body looks fierce n ripped
Friend: hehehehe
Friend: I've always found it rather strange and interesting that the AIDS body is a strange standard of accepted gay beauty
Friend: that purple AIDS sterioded out veiny body
Elsand: yep
Friend: eeek!
Elsand: [I know a poz person] who works out with [a str8 friend] who's a cub
Elsand: the cub wondered why the other always wants to work out n get muscley
Elsand: oh yeah cub is str8
Elsand: not sure if he knows other is poz
Elsand: but i told him well gay culture promotes this insane workout regimine
Elsand: it came into play when AIDS happened n guys were trying to hide their disease
Friend: EXACTLY

a blast from my past

2006-04-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

immigration & the queer community: an open letter

2006-04-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

forwarded to me by a friend, and one i wholeheartedly agree with!

An Open Letter to the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community:

We are a group of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people of color who work in the LGBT movement. We are writing to you in response to Jasmyne Cannick's article "Gays First, Then Illegals", which ran in The Advocate (www.advocate.com/exclusive_detail_ektid28908.asp), in which she, a black lesbian, argues that she cannot support the current battle for immigrant rights because LGBT people have not yet won the right to marry. We are writing to express our profound disagreement with her, and to offer alternative LGBT perspectives to the current immigration battles happening across the country.

To begin with, Cannick fails to realize an obvious fact - the LGBT community and the immigrant community are not mutually exclusive. There are thousands of LGBT immigrants in this country. There are thousands of black immigrants. And there are thousands of black LGBT immigrants. To put forward an argument that says "we should get ours first" makes us question who exactly is the "we" in that analysis. In addition, we recognize the historically interconnected nature of the immigrant and LGBT struggles - such as the ban on "homosexual immigrants" that extended into the 1990's, and the present HIV ban, which disproportionately impacts LGBT people - and we believe that only by understanding these connections and building coalition can we ensure real social change for all.

And we ask those who share the destructive views of this article to remember the immortal words of Audre Lorde when she said that "There is no hierarchy of oppression". We reject any attempts to pit the struggle of multiple communities against each other and firmly believe that "Rights" are not in limited supply. We condemn the "scarcity of rights" perspective espoused by Cannick and other members of the LGBT movement, and are surprised to see members of our community trafficking in such ugliness. But then, one reason why it has always been so hard to shift power in this country is because the ruling class has successfully made us believe that there are only a few deserving groups to whom rights can be given. This strategy has always been used to divide oppressed groups from coming together to work in coalition.

We are painfully aware that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities still lack many basic protections under the law in this country, including the right to care for and support all of our families, in the various ways in which we construct family and kinship. Nevertheless, supporting immigrant rights, while we continue to work for LGBT liberation, does nothing to hurt our cause. In fact, we believe the opposite to be true, and want to work towards building powerful coalitions between immigrant and LGBT movements to work together for social justice.

We are also aware that many immigrant right advocates have (intentionally or not) used anti-black rhetoric to move their agenda forward. Arguments such as "Don't treat us like 'criminals'" or "We are doing work that 'other' Americans won't do" have the effect of positioning immigrant narratives as subtly juxtaposed with American stereotypes of non-immigrant black communities. They leave native-born black Americans as among the only people who do not have access to the immigrant narrative, and so are in a permanent position of subordination, as the state consistently negotiates and redefines citizenship and "American-ness" for almost everyone but blacks. Nevertheless, the solution to this problem is not to abandon support for the struggle of immigrant communities. Rather, we call on immigrant movements and (non-immigrant) black organizations to work together for real racial and economic justice in this country. Together these movements can work to end the exploitation and targeting of both communities, and to ensure that black folks and immigrants do not end up having to choose between competing for low-paying jobs, or being targeted for detainment or imprisonment.

As lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people of color, we support the current immigrant rights marches and rallies happening across the country this month, and we march too. We march because immigrants are among the most politically vulnerable, underpaid and exploited communities in the country, and are asking for basic human rights, including the right to live free from torture and exploitation, and the right to work. We march because we recognize the connections between the state attacks on immigrant and LGBT communities, and that LGBT immigrants in particular are disproportionately affected by much anti-immigrant legislation. We march because we oppose the heightened policing and criminalization of immigrant communities, including the increased militarization of the border, as mandated by HR 4437 and Senate bills. We march because we oppose indefinite and mandatory detention of noncitizens-as well as the mass incarceration of people-of-color-communities in the U.S. more broadly-and envision a society that ensures the safety and self-determination of all people, regardless of national origin, race, class, gender or sexuality. We march because we oppose the guestworker proposals, which would continue the exploitation of many low-wage workers. We march because we demand the repeal of the HIV ban. We march because our sexualities have been historically criminalized by this country, and we understand that "law" and "justice" are not the same thing.

It is our understanding that Jasmyne Cannick was writing as an individual, and not as a representative of either the National Black Justice Coalition (on whose Board of Directors she serves) or The Stonewall Democrats (for whose Black Caucus she serves as Co-Chair). As LGBT people of color, we call upon both of those organizations to publicly clarify their own positions in this ongoing civil rights discussion.

We also call upon our community to imagine how much more progress we could make if we all stopped thinking of social justice as a zero-sum game.

Sincerely,
Katherine Acey
Executive Director, the Astraea Lesbian Action Fund

Faisal Alam
Founder & Former Director, Al-Fatiha Foundation for LGBTIQ Muslims

Samiya Bashir
Board Member, National Black Justice Coalition
Communications Director, Freedom to Marry
Board Member, Fire & Ink

Noemi Calonje
Immigration Project Director, National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR)

Noran J. Camp
Office Administrator, Freedom to Marry

Chris Chen
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
immigrant from Taiwan 1997

Alain Dang
Policy Analyst, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

Debanuj Dasgupta
Board of Directors, Queer Immigrant Rights Project

Carlos Ulises Decena, Ph.D.
Assistant Professor, Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey

Joseph N. DeFilippis
Executive Director, Queers for Economic Justice

Marta Donayre
Co-Founder, Love Sees No Borders

Andres Duque
Coordinator, Mano A Mano

Monroe France
Educational Training Manager, Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network
Board of Directors, Queers for Economic Justice

Eddie Gutierrez
Rep. for Christine Chavez, granddaughter of labor and civil rights leader Cesar Chavez

Priscilla A. Hale, LMSW
Executive Director, ALLGO

Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano
Director of Arts and Community Building, ALLGO

Kemi Ilesanmi

Surina Khan
Interim Vice President of Programs, The Women's Foundation of California
former Executive Director, International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission

Lee Che Leong
Director of Teen Health Initiative, New York Civil Liberties Union

Elizabeth Lorde-Rollins
Assistant Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Mount Sinai Adolescent Health Center
Board of Directors, Queers for Economic Justice

Yoseñio Vicente Lewis
Board Member, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
Latino, Trans Social Justice Activist, first generation U.S. Citizen

Glenn Magpantay
Steering Committee Member, Gay Asian & Pacific Islander Men of New York

Rickke Mananzala
Campaign Coordinator, FIERCE!

Gloria Nieto
National Latino Justice Coalition

Doyin Ola
Welfare Organizer, Queers for Economic Justice

Jesús Ortega-Weffe
Director of Community Organizing, ALLGO

Emiko Otsubo
former Board member, Queers for Economic Justice

Clarence Patton
Executive Director, NYC Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project

Donna Payne
Senior Diversity Organizer, Human Rights Campaign

Earl L. Plante
Development Director, National Minority AIDS Council
President-Elect, Board of Directors, National Black Justice Coalition

Achebe Powell
Betty Powell Associates

Lorraine Ramirez
Public Policy Committee, Queers for Economic Justice

Lisbeth Meléndez Rivera
Convener, the National Latino Coalition for Justice

Ignacio Gilberto Rivera
Founder, Poly Patao Productions
Board of Directors, Queers for Economic Justice

Russell D. Roybal
Director of Movement Building, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

Shay Sellars
Major Gifts and Events Administrator, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

Pedro Julio Serrano
Communications Associate, Freedom to Marry
President, Puerto Rico Para Tod@s

Sarah Sohn
New Voices Legal Fellow, Immigration Equality
Board of Directors, Queers for Economic Justice

Sandra Telep
Marriage Organizer
Pride At Work, AFL-CIO

Lisa Thomas-Adeyemo
Co-Coordinator, National People of Color Organizing Institute, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
Director of Counseling, San Francisco Women Against Rape

Carmen Vazquez
Deputy Executive Director, Empire State Pride Agenda

Robert Vazquez-Pacheco
former Program Manager, Funders for Gay and Lesbian Issues
Pat Washington, Phd
Chair, Lambda Letters Project
Education Chair, San Diego Branch NAACP
Executive Board Member, CA NAACP
President, San Diego Democratic Women's Club
Co-Chair WAGE (We Advocate Gender Equity)

Lisa Weiner-Mahfuz
Capacity Building Project Director, The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force

Andy Shie Kee Wong
Coalition Manager, Asian Equality

Lancy Woo and Cristy Chung
lead Plaintiffs in the Woo vs Lockyer, marriage rights case

Miriam Yeung
Director of Public Policy and Government Relations, the LGBT Community Center

-- Organizational affiliation listed for identification purposes only --

new glasses

2006-04-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

First off, Dave Chappelle is a genius. He did a series of shows here that were mostly ad libbed. Amazing to see him at work/play. Personally, I admire him for giving up the $50M. His eyes and heart are on his art, not on his art as commodity.

In other news, I got new glasses. Two pair, same shape, one black, one tortoise shell. Here's a pic. No, I didn't smear the lens with vaseline, it was just taken with a low pixel web cam.

just catchin up....

2006-03-26T19:44:00.000-08:00

Saturday I woke up in a crappy mood. No rhyme, no reason, just a solid anti-social disposition. Unfortunately, I skipped a friend's 30th b-day bbq, for which I have to now apologize. I spent the day reading comics and watching DVDs.

Later that night I ordered Thai food. To prevent Ali Shiny Heiny (the cat) from running outside, which he's been doing lately, I went outside on the stoop, shutting the door behind me. I paid for my red duck curry, which i've ben craving all month, and turned to go in and realized I locked my ass out. After a brief panic and hunger attack, I remembered I didn't lock the back door because I kept letting the cat out. (He can go in backyards, but not in froint with speeding traffic.) My upstairs neighbor saved me from climbing up n down 2 flights of stairs by going out back n unlocking my door.

Sunday: I GOT TIX TO SEE DAVE CHAPPELLE AT THE PUNCHLINE!!!!!!!!

weird thing that happened this morning. Our door bell rang and my roommate answered the door.
BITCHY WOMAN AT DOOR: So where's the garage sale?
ROOMIE: Excuse me?
WOMAN: The garage sale here!
ROOMIE: There is no garage sale here.
WOMAN: This is 729, right?
ROOMIE: Where did you read there was a garage sale here?
WOMAN: Craigslist!

I looked on craigslist, and there was a garage sale listed on my street at 762. Poor bitch had a case of online dyslexia. She's also lucky my roommate answered the door and not me. I woulda thrown her attitude back at her. She disturbs our peace and has attitude about it???

simple life

2006-03-12T20:16:00.000-08:00

a few weeks ago an ex-roommate was in town. he teaches at a college in canada, and i hadn't seen him in awhile. in fact, i was unemployed last time he was in the area, so that makes it 2003. it was nice to catch up. and as a bonus he gave me a big bowl of homemade jambalaya mmmmm his cooking skills have not diminished.

friday night it snowed in san francisco! my roommate tore through the house and outside. i heard commotion on the stoop, and went out to see what all the hub bub was about. me n my upstairs neighbor took pics. my roommate chucked a snowball at me, but i ducked.

then saturday, it was sunny and warm. but turns out i left my wallet in my desk at work, so i had to go downtown and get it. but first i called a coworker in the hood to borrow his card key to get in the building. after getting my wallet i went n got this week's batch of comic books. i walked home which shot out my ankles. so the one thing i really wanted to do that day (see jaime in an artist talk at galeria), i couldn't.

obligatory american idol post

2006-03-09T12:11:00.000-08:00

chat between me and my sister:

Elsand: peter brady has to go
Sister: yep
Elsand: n taylor hicks
Elsand: he needs to quit "acing black" n get his own voice
Elsand: that is, the ray charles impersonation can only go so far
Sister: i like taylor
Sister: chris is my favorite
Sister: and i like ace
Sister: peter brady and harry potter got to go
Sister: i can't believe peter brady attempted marvin gaye!
Sister: :-$
Elsand: taylor was next on my list
Sister: gideon is next on my list
Elsand: but peter b was so out of touch with the song and its heart n soul
Elsand: gideon has a great classic voice
Elsand: but gideon is scary
Sister: yeah...i don't like to look at gideon...but he has a nice voice
Elsand: hmm
Elsand: gideon also needs humble pie so i do hope he gets voted off
Sister: yeah...that guy...the one w/ the bad teeth and ears....but great voice
Sister: i worry his performance may get him voted off
Sister: elliott
Elsand: yeah he wasn't bad last night just not good
Sister: yeah....bad song choice
Sister: matt's [her fiance] freakin out that you want taylor voted out
Elsand: ha ha
Sister: Matt: he like chicken little better?
Elsand: i want taylor to quit acting like ray charles
Elsand: chicken little has a reedy voice for ballads n folk songs...but its his
Elsand: taylor does imitations
Sister: yeah
Sister: i liked him doing doobie brothers
Elsand: imitating michael mcdonald...
Elsand: it just wasn't tylor, it was a michael imitation
Sister: he has that kind of voice
Sister: i liked ace's song
Sister: the MJ song
Sister: i was surprised
Elsand: i thought he lost it it when he went into falsetto
Sister: yeah...i noticed that too
Sister: but i liked it
Elsand: about midway through it lost the sexy soulful quality n became strained
Sister: yep!
Sister: but as simon said....it's ace...so people can over look it
Sister: (they only notice the pretty boy face)
Elsand: so tonight bye bye chicken little n gideon, n kinnick n rocker chick
Sister: matt says...there's ace with his target t-shirts
Sister: lol
Elsand: ace bores me because he's a pretty face
Sister: yeah...kinnik is gone
Elsand: kinnik started good...and i thought yes yes she's gonna redeem herself...but then she went sooo sharp n i just waved bye bye
Sister: yep
Elsand: rocker chick did heart ok, until it came for the longing/yearning scream/plea
Elsand: she lost the soul of the song n was just screaming "aloooooneee"
Sister: yeah

Gay sour grapes.

2006-03-06T12:01:00.000-08:00

I'm surprised at the outright racism of some blog responses to Crash winning over Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture Oscar. (And yet I know I shouldn't be.)

Some of the commentary around Crash and even the Best Song winner just reminds me why I avoid areas like the Castro. Case in point:

"The only people who have embraced Crash are people who aren't very intelligent; or have been victims of racism" Hmmm so people who experience racism aren't very intelligent?

"'somewhere in that vast world tonight - a hip hop loving/writing gay (black, brown, white, red or yellow) boy gets to dream a bigger dream.' Well, let him keep jacking off [that does sound like a smokin' menage] until he's mature enough to realize that "hip hop" is just another name for Rap Crap and can write some actual melodies with creative lyrics... African Americans have contributed tons of brilliant, original, timeless music to the world's culture, but the success of hip hop/rap crap is but the result of the lowest commmon denominators guilt-tripping and bullying their way into the recording industry ..."

I'm also trippin on the argument that the Academy played it safe by picking a movie that deals with racism. Will someone please let me know when racism became safe?? Is it because we acknowledge it or ignore it or both? I just don't get it.

Humanity ultimately depresses me. The gay community makes me ill.

Confession!

2006-02-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

I am engrossed in the whole Nick & Jessica divorce saga. I hope he takes her Xian azz to the cleaners. Then she can get back together with her creepy dad.

poopy day

2006-02-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

I woke up aggro. Not sure why. Then some internal work things happened, which due to NDAs, I can't disclose. And this made it worse. Also i probably shouldn't have been fueling it with my new Ramones CDs. Then I knocked over my coffee all over my lap. It was lukewarm and I barely got to taste it. But my left side was wet. ugh. Also my co-worker Matt made flavored coffee so I smell like cookies n cream or somethin.

Wondercon

2006-02-13T10:38:00.000-08:00

Last week ended sour. I ended up working till 11pm on friday in correcting a clients website.

On the sweeter side of last week, I did some Amazon damage:

RAMONES

Leave Home [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED]
Road to Ruin [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED]
Too Tough to Die [ORIGINAL RECORDING REISSUED] [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED]
End of the Century [ORIGINAL RECORDING REISSUED] [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED]
Rocket to Russia [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED]

Rolling Stones

Get Yer Ya-Ya's Out! [LIVE] [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED]
Let It Bleed [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED]
Their Satanic Majesties Request [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED]
More Hot Rocks: Big Hits & Fazed Cookies [HYBRID SACD] [ORIGINAL RECORDING REISSUED] [ORIGINAL RECORDING REMASTERED] [BOX SET]

And
Strange Messenger: The Work of Patti Smith by Patti Smith
Justice League - Season One DVD (pre-ordered)
Blondie Greatest Hits: Sound & Vision (CD+DVD) (pre-ordered)

They should be streamin in today and tomorrow.

On Sat I went to Wondercon with my friend Bill. We got there early and the line was huge and the security was trickling people in. I had pre-registered online.

I ended up getting:

Fantastic Four Visionares vol 1 - 4 by John Byrne
Marvel Masterworks: X-men
Marvel Masterworks: Avengers
Villains United (for a friend)

I also got the following DVDs:

Queen - Live in London Xmas Eve 1975 (Freddie M. performs in white spandex, black leotard and short shorts but not all at the same time)
The Mars Volta - 3 disc set of live shows in Philly, PA and London, UK
The Ramones - Live 1977 includes Don Kirshner show plus 2 gigs in Houston, TX

I only went to one panel (in San Diego i live at them). Went to DCU 2006: The Best is Yet to Come. Best bit was when they mentioned Grant Morrison would be writing Batman. Unfortunately, they pre-released the info as this was to be an exclusive with the crap magazine Wizard. At least they kept mum about the artist so Wizard gets at least one exclusive. Altough its already over the net that it'll be the Kubert Bros.

If you have FLICKR, you can see Bill's pics here.

what up?

2006-02-08T12:50:00.000-08:00

so much has and hasn't been going on. i can't seem to drag myself out the house except for work and to see juve. i've skipped things i want to see at galeria cuz i just don't want to leave the casa after it gets dark. netflix has become my friend, as well as the dvr.

work-wise, things have taken an interesting turn. my company was acquired by nasdaq. so as of now i'm a nasdaq employee. so far it all looks good. i just find it ironic that i've been so anti-corporate and now i'm employed by nasdaq. on the plus side, i still don't have to wear a tie.

i also got my stock options paid out. my first act was to buy the last 2 volumes of the all star comics archives. then when my check cleared the next morn, i paid off my credit card. now i have $$ for the san diego comic-con, plus a trip to vegas with juve.

Ricky Martin

2006-01-30T10:46:00.000-08:00

Photos by D. Ross Cameron for InsideBayArea.com

Well, I got tix to see Ricky Martin at the paramount theater in Oakland. Front row balcony. A week before the show the guy I'm dating told me he didn't want to go. Ok fine. But the way he said it pissed me off: "I'll go with you but i can tell you I have no interest and would be completely bored." It just seemed so rude and at that point it wasn't about the concert, it was about spending time with me. arggghhh I could go on, but I won't.

I ended up taking my friend Sam, who reminded me it was his birthday. I looked at the calendar and fell out my chair. Number One, because I forgot. And Number Two, because the end of the first month of 2006 came so fast, and I seem to be still in Dec 2005 pre-Xmas.

Sam and I grabbed Thai food at Siam Bay, then headed to the Paramount. Walking into the lobby, the air was so thick n hazy n humid: a combination of latin girl twat juice n perfume n gay boy spunk n cologne. (Crude, but it is what I thought.) I'm guessing Ricky is like Aretha and demands that air conditioning be off for his voice.

The crowd was mostly female with tag-along bfs (55%) and gay guys (45%).

The show itself was fun, a step up from Vegas revue, which is what I expected. He's a charismatic performer with the ability to look in a crowd and make you think he is looking n waving solely at you.

And damnnnnn wut an azz. Each pelvic thrust or hip shake had the crowd screaming like white girls at a beatles concert.

Censorship on MySpace?

2006-01-13T13:45:00.000-08:00

I noticed a friend's band profile was missing. I contacted him and he showed me the canned email that myspace sends. There was nothing on the band profile that violated those terms. I believe they were singled out solely for their name: Child Pornography. (I admit not the best name, but it does fall in line with the punk aesthetic of pushing boundaries and trying to get a rise out of people.)

How thoroughly was their profile searched? Because if an audit was conducted, one would find that the band never has and never will endorse the exploitative violation of child pornography. Nor do they advocate the corruption of minors. Were pictures looked at? Songs listened to?

I hope that in the future myspace take a closer look at profiles before deciding to delete them in a knee-jerk reaction.

You had a genuine band promoting their music and shows and you deleted them. Yet other profiles are clearly spam and looking to promote their pay-per-view webcams, but these are allowed. (Look at my blocked list if you want an example of those.)

Sincerely,
Lito Sandoval

oh Madonna, Up Yours!

2005-12-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

I love this video parody my friend sent. Video

Rock vs Rap

2005-12-20T14:39:00.000-08:00

On an email list I'm on, a discussion came up where members were trying to pinpoint rap's roots/precursors. Statements were bandied about like: "I like to point out Jefferson Airplane's Plastic Fantastic Lover as an early rap song," "Dylan's Subterranaen homesick Blues is the first rap song," "Isn't Blondie's rapture the first rap song?"

I found it very weird that they were trying to point rap's roots to white rock-n-roll.

The other faction was of course rap sucks, I call it crap etc.

My response to the group was (italics were added to this post as i think more about it):

"I found the postings odd trying to point rap to Dylan, Blondie or the Airplane-- all of whom I love. But its unlikely that the folks in the rap/hip hop movement heard these folks beyond the Top 40 hits. Also Blondie's Rapture is a tribute to the culture that Fab 5 Freddy introduced them to.

What I do find interesting is pointing out Dylan's song, because in retrospect I can see it as a pre-cursor to rap, a sort of proto-rap. It has the heavy rhyming scheme that drives the song as opposed to verse chorus verse. But I wouldn't point it to the development of rap music as we know it today.

I also find it sad that folks still use that "(c)rap" line from George [Harrison].
It just smacks of fuddy duddiness or a tad racist like the anti-disco movement.
There are some amazing rap artists out there, its too bad the record companies only
like to push the gangster bling-bling artists like 50 cent. (Kanye is a great producer, but a mediocre rapper in my book.)"

Requisite Brokeback Mountain Post

2005-12-19T10:54:00.000-08:00

Finally a perspective differing from the traditional love it/hate it, I've read. I don't agree with it whole-heartedly, but I found it interesting.

From Keith Boyken's blog: "If these characters had been black, they would have called this movie a film about the down low. Instead, they're calling it a classic love story." To read the whole article, click here.

At a certain level, I think Keith misses the point in that, yes, the characters ARE closeted. And whether you call it downlow or closeted, it is still the same thing: a couple of guys whose fear of being labeled queer are engaging in a homosexual love affair with each other while maintaining a heterosexual married life.

I myself haven't seen the film yet. It's been selling out up here. Plus Juve and I are working on seeing Narnia first....which brings me to....

Did anybody catch Saturday Night Live? They had a rap video that had me bustin up where the CHRONICles of Narnia was the subject. Video Link

catching up....

2005-12-11T20:43:00.000-08:00

well, this past month has been focused on john. at his memorial, i wore the "i'm rick james bitch" tshirt he got me under a button up shirt. after his memorial, which was standing room only and spilling out of the hosts house, my family and his went to the golden bear in oakland. we had a drink in his honor.

i mentioned the stones show in an earlier post. i took my mom to the first one. they did a pretty standard war horse set, BUT the playing was top notch and mick seemed to really be digging it, hitting notes i've noit heard him hit in bootlegs. the highlights of show 1 were: tumbling dice (which i actually hate, but mick's voice was sooo good), get off my cloud, rain fall down, rough justice n paint it black. metallica was really good, but i wanted to hear for whom the bell tolls. and i don't understand why they bothered to cover that bob seger song.

2nd stones show the performance wasn't as strong, but they did she's so cold and shattered, both of whgich i was waiting for during the first show and didn't get. and metallica did for whom the bell tolls!

work has been crazy, but we hired 2 new people to spread out the work.

i was in riverside, ca for thanksgiving. it was weird being in suburbia, but at he same time nice to get driven to doorways. i stayed from tues - sat.

on saturday, erika and brian drove me to my friends matt n adam's house in long beach. they've done an amazing job making what was adam's grandma's house into a 50s meets modern decor. we all had dinner there too. i stayed through wed morn.

the last time i was in long beach it was a crazy boozy party, plus i saw pat benatar at lb pride. this time we just chilled, saw harry potter, and i discovered the thrill of dvrs. because of that, i upgraded my comcast subscription to include it.

our household got a new cat, a hurricane katrina kitty. we were tossing around names, one being gumbo. one thing this cat does is lick himself bald. his back legs are hairless. and thus was born sir licks-a-lot.

well, i think that's bout it for now.

Some levity...

2005-12-06T14:31:00.000-08:00

I recently bought my niece a Bratz doll that also had a "Mystery Date" guy in the package.

I asked my sister if my mom had given her the package. She responded: "yes, thanks, but the Bratz girl dumped the mystery guy date and hooked up with one of her other girl dolls. she says guys and guys is grosssss but girls and girls are OK"

This is my niece in a parade:

RIP: John Robert Ward Taylor

2005-12-02T12:45:00.000-08:00

Well one month after the day he was diagnosed, our great family friend John Taylor passed away on Thanksgiving morning from cancer. He was a great man and we will miss him terribly.

He was my sister's ex-boyfriend and best friend. And my family welcomed him the minute he opened his wise-crackin mouth. He fit right in.

I think my sister said it best:

"His passing on Thanksgiving Day is very significant to us. Thanksgiving was John's holiday. It was his favorite day to cook for all his friends and family. ...Thanksgiving will always be a very memorable and special day for us all."

Escapism

2005-11-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have escaped to riverside, CA to spend Thanksgiving with friends.

Last night we went to see a couple ska bands play, it was very interesting to see the rebirth of this scene 20 years after the fact. The first band was good, the second one unimaginitive with a weak lead singer, and the third had a wider variety of influences under its belt.

Last week i saw the stones n metallica twice plus patti smith. more on that later.

heart & mind

2005-11-21T14:02:00.000-08:00

Well our friend was diagnosed too late. Currently he is in ICU breathing with a respirator. His kidney, liver and lungs have failed him. He is a beating heart and active mind. Its as if his 2 strongest features are not willing to give up. They remain present/persistent. And they always will with me.

Right now every time the phone rings, i jump, thinking its "that call."

I still find this all surreal. How can someone so young be taken from us so fast? How can someone who can light up a room with his personality and wit be taken from us? Even people who only met him once, remembered him. That's the kind of person he is/was.

(NOTE: Sorry, if I'm not using proper nouns/names here. I'm just not ready to be so publically revealing.)

UPDATE!

2005-11-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

Our family friend took a dip in health on sat, but sun wa showing signs of improvement!

fuck insurance companies all over the world

2005-11-06T10:29:00.000-08:00

what good are insurance companies if they don't allow a patient to get the best health care possible??? a family friend was recently diagnosed with cancer. unfortunately he was in stage 4 by the time it was discovered. when he was first diagnosed his doictor wanted him to go to the UC Davis cancer center but his insurance refused to cover it.

within 2 weeks, he was in the hospital to be fitted with a feeding tube and an iv for chemo. (he currently can't eat because a tumor blocks the passage to his stomach.) however, compliations arose as his gall bladder as infected so instead of the needed tubing he had to be fitted with they took his infected organ out.

last night my sister called me to tell me his kidneys are failing and his legs are swelling. i've been crying on n off since then. until last night i had the highest of hopes our friend would beat this, but now i'm not so sure. i will continue to give love, give hope, but ...

i'm scared for him, his family, my family. and i hate our medical insurance industry. profiteering corporate monkey's who will burn in hell for the care they've denied and disfigurations, anguish and deaths they could have prevented but didn't because they couldn't bleed money from it.